1. Welcome to The Picnic Bench – Changes

1. Welcome to The Picnic Bench – Changes

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Hi, Welcome to The Picnic Bench we’re
Roger and Monika from Life Resourcers you can find out more about us on our
social media and on our website which is all posted at the beginning of this
video We will be doing a series of some random podcast sometimes it’ll be a
video it’s just gonna be more a chat what we’ve experienced what happened in
our lives sometimes we would like to have maybe a guess and find out how
other people down for different situations like drinks so today we’re
gonna be talking about changes so changes why do we think we know
something about changes well let me start off in telling you a little bit
about myself I was originally born in Plymouth I moved up to Lancashire
because that’s where all my family were at the age of 18 and from there on life
had a lot of different changes for me at the age of 25 after going through a lot
of different changes then I decided I had enough and I would attempt suicide
which obviously failed because I’m here now
from there on in I packed my bags and went traveling I got interested in the mind
and from that it’s now 2019 this happened in 2001 and I’ve started doing
NLP quite a bit and making as many changes in my life to help myself so
what about you Mon oh yeah pretty much a long story really
I mean being brought up in communism and still remember quite a bit of a
communism because it changed when I was 18 so I still remember quite a lot
packing my bag and going to Israel leaving the country which was another
quite a culture, religious shock then basically
ended up living in the UK which is again kind of a Western so there was a lot of
changes there with languages culture and all sorts with my job pretty much the
same starting as a actuary doing the mathematics and kind of more scientific
things then moving into aerobic and fitness and then as Roger mentioned
doing an NLP which for those who don’t know what that is is a neuro linguistic
programming so it’s very much a mind focused sort of a training coaching
field so there’s been a lot of changes in moving around countries jobs
different people all sorts of fields cuz we’ve done a lot of jobs jobs we travel
a lot we we’ve had the opportunity of working in many countries and with
different languages even though only speaking one language you learn to
become very flexible and to change very quickly to work with the people around
you and I suppose of working in the different environments as well so we’ve
done pretty much a lot of a tourism and hospitality jobs we’ve been working as
instructors outdoor centers working with children with adults teaching English so
there was a lot and that’s not even all covered really I suppose and so there’s
been a lot of changes and I think one day I was just sitting thinking although
we’ve been through a lot of changes and a lot of people we meet they tend to
feel like we are really good at you know those changes because it seems like but
we’re not really I suppose that good it’s not about not being good I don’t
think it’s about that we’ve we’ve had a lot of changes people have seen we’ve
done a lot of changes yet we’ve always found a way I think to have a
giggle while going through those changes to find something funny in the aspect to
keep us sane properly I think yeah I suppose the the one of it was really to
make us giggle and you know get through it but what we I think would we both I
guess agree on that we’re not really that
comfortable with changes which is really strange but we also we’ve been through
changes we’ve coped with them but I wouldn’t like to say that I’m always
getting up in the morning looking into oh yeah another change I’m gonna have an
amazing day cuz it’s not kind of that feeling at least not for me I don’t know
no I don’t think it’s a great feeling to wake up every morning and changes are coming
up yeah so quick that you don’t even have time to take a deep breath
so the uncomfortable that changes make it can be quite a harsh territory yeah I
think I suppose I was I was one day thinking of it’s really strange why we
even if we don’t have a fear of changes we kind of like behaving like on the
thin ice with the change and you would think that being humans we would get
used to it should kind of a be like um a real process because you know I don’t
remember or don’t even think that when I was a kid and obviously a baby not
speaking suddenly having the fear of change oh my god I’m gonna be speaking
or oh my god now I’m gonna be walking nobody’s gonna be pushing me in the pram
so we’ve been through a quiet a lot of changes and take them normal don’t we
yeah I think that every day we all go through some form of change look at us
we’re all getting older we’re constantly changing well that’s a good one as well
you know you I don’t know I’ve heard it quite often if people don’t have
literally maybe fear of aging they are a bit kind of worried about the body
changing mind changing but you know at the end of the day from the day we were
born that’s what we were doing getting older we’re constantly changing and it’s
once you start to recognize this happens it sort of makes it a little bit easier
on your brain no changes oh yeah what we’ve done changes we’ve done changes
forever for as long as we’ve been born we’ve had some sort of change
going on constant yeah yet the some of them we just take as a normal and then
suddenly at some point at one stage in our life suddenly we have a bit of a
fear or worry about the change I can’t really pinpoint when that was exactly
for me the first time of the change I couldn’t probably tell you when
I started thinking oh my god another change how do I deal with this but I mean
I I didn’t think that when I was a kid I would be worried oh my god one day I’m
gonna be adult oh whoa the changes I don’t think it was there in the back of my
head growing up at all I think at the time when I was growing up it was just
more about ah what will we do now literally now not in a month in a week in
a year twenty years well I don’t any think that that definitely did cross my
mind yeah it’s definitely what we’re gonna do now let’s find a way to have
some fun and enjoy it yeah cuz I suppose whichever I look at
it now getting older again more older or more recognizing it I sometimes find
myself oh when I was younger we were spending a lot of time as kids
outside and children these days don’t do it and you start to sort of getting into
that oh it used to be like this now it’s not you start to be a bit like sad
about it maybe thinking mmm the changes they’re not always good but actually
that’s what it is we evolved the life changed the world has changed everything
is continuously changing it’s not better or worse it’s just different very
different and I think once you kind of get into the habit that the only
thing that is secured and for sure and guaranteed is a constant change change
is definitely around us and it’s sometimes when you look at change it can feel very
chaotic mmm you know we’ve had between us numerous conversations about
chaos no matter how the world seems to be so chaotic nothing’s like it was well
nothing will ever be like it because it changes yeah how can it be it’s
like people turn around to us sometimes and say our food doesn’t taste
like it did well as a kid maybe not but your taste buds have changed as well your taste but aren’t like they were when you were a kid you’ve drank coffee tea
for however many years and whatever else you’ve had has changed your taste buds
well I suppose we’ve the world changing so much when I was a kid growing up in a
communism there were a certain foods you would never really taste it was just the
local food you would have so obviously then going to having the opportunity to
travel meeting different people and experiencing different things it changes
you it’s just inevitable so your taste won’t even be the same because the
opportunities are just different everything it seems to be different I
mean I remember my grandma saying oh I’ve hardly I’ve never actually been to
because she was you know brought up in on the regional place and not in the
capital she’s never been to Prague and there were a lot of people who wouldn’t
even leave their village and when they married they married within the the
friends and the people they knew they went to school maybe found the boyfriend
if they found a boyfriend or girlfriend from another village that would be kind
of a surprise and now it’s a cultural things I mean I married a British and
that wasn’t before even possible then maybe if you look at the change in like your saying of the landscape in that way and the communities you you look at your
community now your communities change very much the people around you have
changed there’s there’s so many different nationalities and that brings
so much different change to us it’s it’s the way we deal with people on a daily
basis we have to be flexible with this yeah well I mean even working in a
tourism before you could say you perhaps had you know the tourists from
different parts of the country going to a more like the holiday resort then you
suddenly have a people coming from within
lets say Europe now you have people going from farther and farther a field they’re bringing
a different cultures and different habits so it’s all changing and you’ve
got to kind of a change because it’s something you’ve not experienced yet you
learn to deal with it so it’s working out how you deal with the change
but for myself I think I like I was saying before I look for a point where I
can find something to laugh at and I think that’s quite important to me in
times of extreme change that I need to find some point in it where it’s just
like but just you know what this is actually quite funny this change that’s going on
I didn’t expect to it’s blown me out at the water
I’ll explain by saying that at one stage we were working down in the South of
France yeah and we decided that the company were working for they weren’t a
fit for us well maybe not the company the people that manage it weren’t a fit
for us yeah there were kind of really strange
so they were different to us or as we say around here not my cup of tea
yeah so we decided that we would leave this company and the following day and
being in the South of France we have 300, 400 quid in our pocket was it yeah if that we we didn’t have a job lined up or anything so we we use what
skills we had at the time and that was to right let’s go into the local town
let’s find a hotel for the evening and following day we would start to make
phone calls to any companies that were operating down in this part of the
country or France alone because we could get about on trains we had enough to do
this and we would make the best of this change and find a way to have a giggle
thinking about it now now you’ve mentioned that that is a kind of a
pattern maybe what we would say how we’ve dealt with it it seems to be
really overwhelming because suddenly you are in a different country you don’t
really have that much money you need to think I’m going back or what you’re
gonna do you don’t have a job don’t have the contacts so I think you need to
start somewhere I think our first step was we’re gonna find somewhere to sleep
for a night yeah if you’re lucky we went of the Maslow Pyramid basically yeah yeah
if some of you don’t know what the Maslow Pyramid is just just google it
it’s probably the best option it’s like you covered your basic needs so so first
was I think for us it was the hotel then we were thinking we better get some food
and then it’s suddenly started then we sat on the beach basically at that time
we’ve got some rum although we were not really drinking much we got we got a rum
and we were drinking just a little bit we’re not drunk but we’re just sitting
there and put everything into a perspective sitting on the beach was it
was it was it cold but it’s because it was early in March I think it was a bit of a chill coming in and so that suddenly lighten it up a bit which oh we’re not
saying that you need to get drunk but it was it just eased a bit of the the
pressure I think at the time also Monika managed to find a really really good
benefit for herself so as we were down there there was this procession that
while working for the company we wouldn’t have been able to go and see
yeah it was a we when we were passing still working for the company I saw from
the van that there was a that poster for the procession de la sancha and I was
always really fascinated by seeing the procession again you know Google what it
is all about and I was like oh wow I’m so close and I can go and then I
realized actually we wouldn’t be able to because we were working and still quite
a distance from that place and I remember us sitting on that beach and
drinking and I said yeah that’s good I can actually see that so we started to
find the positives of this change and the giggles of it we managed to find
another company operating out of that area I think it was actually next day when the
company was operating literally within the town we were on the campsite and
they said when you want to start and we said well maybe a week time because we
want to see the procession and we still had a bit of money and
that was it it was pretty much that that it was pretty much as good as that we
went to see the procession we started work the following week with the company
and we ended up doing their whole camping season the whole France we’ve
been covering as kind of like the holiday reps and also the area
maintenance controllers we’ve been pretty much doing everything and we stay
with them till the end of the season wasn’t it it was yeah so that was an
experience it’s the change with us I think is not suppose that door shut with
that company for us yeah a whole other group of doors opened to give us a lot
more opportunities we had the opportunity to like I said go and see
that procession mmm and that was amazing and still we still glad than we’ve
actually managed to see we had the opportunity of seeing a lot of France
because the company were originally gonna work for we would have just been
based in one place yes this other company said we need you up here over there
and we spent there what eight months eight eight nine months almost there just
traveling around France working yeah so so it was I think what we would be sort
of saying I can’t really say that because we’ve relaxed it gave us that
opportunity but it seemed to kind of work for us yeah I think so I think it
worked for us I think we found a way to enjoy the change and I think that was
probably the big thing is learning that change doesn’t have to be difficult it
can actually be an enjoyment if you get your mindset in the right place and that
that mindset of do you know what change is gonna happen it’s gonna happen it’s
always happened and long as you’re you’re learning to accept that change
will happen and start to embrace it rather than fight against it yeah I think
that’s what it is although we understand that sometimes it’s very difficult we’ve
also been through a quite and not so great experience trying to teach in
China yeah and that was that when we were more
this seemed be more fun if you think about it France
is not that far China costed us a lot of money we we
took a different jobs to save the money to be able to do it and then I think the
story was we’ve ended up in a locked confined sort of area where we couldn’t
really leave our apartment only if the school will come in the door of somebody
knocked on it we were warned it wasn’t safe yeah so for us I think going to
teach to China was to experience the culture and not actually being locked
and worried and after it took us all together a five days travelled there and
back when we’ve made the decision that we can’t possibly stay and there was a
situation without exaggeration that we didn’t think we would actually make it
seeing the people there was a kind of the sense of a danger and again it might
not have been but this is what you’ve experienced you don’t know the culture
do so this is a very different culture when you’ve never experienced it you
suddenly in a situation when although we managed to get from that local little
village I don’t even know where we ended up getting to a quiet a big city and the
shock of nobody and I literally mean nobody who we saw spoke English this
they were pointing and of course they’ve never seen a westerner so we were like
celebs nobody wants to go near and then we were thinking we get the money from
the bank to pay for a ticket to get to Beijing and we struggled to find a bank
where we could actually get the money from because we had the money and we
couldn’t do anything because the banks wouldn’t work and until I think recently
so that there were stages would be trying to say that sometimes it can be a
very difficult and I think again the China for us from the moment when we
decided we leaving we then set into breaking it step by step so our first
step was to get out of the village to the closest town yeah then from the town
it was basic getting to the train station
yeah which was a challenge itself finding water and food yeah which we
didn’t manage I would like to say that we’ve managed to get water we didn’t
have that much money for food but when we got the water we didn’t realize we
bought the water and then we’ve noticed that it’s been actually pre open and it was a
mud print around the lid basically so we couldn’t really we decided we
can’t risk it so we went pretty much a whole day without any any water because
we which we didn’t know we spent about 16 hours on that train when there was all
sorts fighting and and different things and going on but again we were ticking
the boxes and even on the train something did make us laugh we had a
Chinese gentleman who didn’t speak any English and he was trying to work out
where we were from as we were the only Westerners on the train and he opened up
the newspaper and he started pointing at writing and numbers on the page and
it was only because we looked at the TV before that at the time we knew where
how many Olympic gold medals England had got yeah cuz we ended up being there
when there was a Bejing Olympic Games and before we were looking how many medals
you so we’ve realized we were on the UK was on the third place so when he was
looking at the like in numbers so we were like we don’t know what it says but
we were just pointing and it was like oh wow we had a really great smile on his
face you could just see it all light up when he realized where we were from and
that we understood something and that was one of the highlights of the train
journey that was yeah and then I remember obviously finally again with a
lot of problems managing to get the tickets and then being on the plane we
were with some I belief some presenters and the things some celebs
leaving the Olympic games because there was a last day and you know we were
basically flying and suddenly they brought us
a glass of champagne and because obviously that was the only ticket which
was done available so that was in the price and we were like people just
thought oh my god how lucky these people are they just been you know seeing all
the Olympic games now they have a champagne and it’s a completely different
perspective so for us through that difficult time of change we we broke it
down and we took step by step and again we started to look for the stuff in it
that made us small yeah basically I think so looking at that I suppose it
was ticking the boxes bit by bit getting closer to to get out of the situation
really no I think what would you say a little bit of advice around changes
Monika well I think it’s accepting that the changes will happen
I must you know confess in that I sometimes working on so much to avoid
any changes so I can have a little bit of the secure routine because I’ve been
through so many changes so I’m kind of spending a lot of energies
working on how I won’t have to do the change but unfortunately I don’t think I
can be that I don’t think it I don’t think I’m gonna achieve it so it either
knocks me easily or knocks me hard and the change will have to happen and I think
is um take it step by step because if you look at it as a whole change it
could be really overwhelming and you can just you can almost feel the panic of
changing everything because one little change can affect every area of your
live it can kick in really and you can only I think sitting there thinking well
what it could be what you can giggle about and sometimes don’t get me wrong
it’s not gonna be that obvious it might just literally be that I mean
us leaving a Beijing like says oh look there is The Great Wall of China you manage
to see it but I saw it from the plane so it was amazing right so little silly
things that’s one of the big secrets dealing with change
it’s looking for those little things that can make you smile make you giggle
I think by doing that again it changes you slightly changes you the way you see
the change and I think I would say as well I don’t know how about you Rog for
me it’s knowing when the change is inevitable really yeah because I
remember sometimes it goes slowly I mean I remember for for myself it was a some
feeling which is kind of really hard to explain when I was in Czech Republic and
and it got that feeling that suddenly I felt like a foreigner in my own country
it’s kind of really hard to explain and a lot of people I meet you know the old
friends from Czech Republic they kind of still don’t understand keep saying don’t
you miss it and and it’s very hard to explain that feeling cause if you’ve
some of you might never experienced that feeling so you can’t imagine what it is
like so for me it was I just felt really foreign in my country there was no links
and they started everything seemed to be fading a bit any connections and I
remember sitting in the tram and saw the plane above my head flying and I was
like oh wow I wish I was on that plane and it started to and I sort of like
ignored those signs for a little bit and then I said no no I’m gonna go for this
I’m gonna put my energy into this and all those projects kind of started to I
wouldn’t say fail but not actually catching it was going nowhere until you
just realize I just got to face the fact that I just need to go so I suppose that
was that can be sometimes hard yeah it’s definitely
once you start to recognize it it’s definitely it’s time to start going with
it rather than fighting against it yeah well what about what was that for you I
mean Rog how did you know or you know that you’ve got to do something I think
like said before my life when after I attempted suicide I come out the other
side of it and I knew somewhere that there was no way I would be able to go
back into the way I was living it just wasn’t wouldn’t have been
acceptable to even I think my belief system that a big change it just
happened and now I had to continue with that change and look for ways to move
forward it’s I started to accept that change was always there yeah yeah I
think and I probably always will be well but do we want it to or you know we we
don’t but I guess that’s what it is really have a laugh or find something to
laugh about yeah I think that would be my main part
of advice find something to laugh about when you’re going through changes and
like Monika said before accepting the change it’s gonna come and I think like
I said for me because I am more a bit of like a planning things I can’t just go
thinking now I’m gonna laugh and it’s gonna be all okay I would lie to you that
would not work for me it’s the combination of the things so for myself
it’s a breaking that big task of the change into really small chunks and you
normally start like I said whenever possible with the Maslow Pyramid so you
start with do I have somewhere to sleep somewhere safer can I stay warmer or do
I have a food then you’re looking into perhaps getting a job it might not
always be your dream job but it might tick the boxes to get you somewhere else
that’s how we used to always work because if you think about I’m gonna
land in the place with the big change where I’m gonna have
a lot of money a beautiful house I’m gonna live in a different country and
I’m gonna be doing the job I love that is a big task that’s a lot and if you
think about getting it all at once that could be overwhelming because anything
that doesn’t work will basically bring you completely down but if you manage to
get the food for the day and somewhere to live and a bit of a money earning it
breaks and then you can think you know do something else one step at a time but
that change will happen and you’re gonna end up going with it sooner or later
so I suppose this is the end of our conversations there regarding change
yeah I think so we would like to obviously hear from you more of the
details that difference that made the difference how you cope with a change
because we know the the big sort of a message you know stay positive
but that is like very much a big picture sometimes when you like we were in the
middle of a China and you thinking I’m not gonna make it thinking positive
could be very hard yes so what gets you I think on that track at that moment to
think positive yeah well any any tips and advice you’ve got for people to get
them through through change themselves some of us need a bit more tips and
advice and it’s always great to share this sort of stuff I think so because we
are all different and I think when you hear it from real people and you know
you it’s not I’m not saying that you know the self help books are not real
it’s just sometimes the people you don’t know that much you you don’t know them
personally so it becomes sometimes hmm did it happen didn’t it happen is it
selling point and so the real people you can link to and believe me it’s
every single person around you went through a changes you don’t need to be a
big celeb with a happy ending because I guess each of us got a little bit of the
happy endings just because you not a celeb
or I don’t know richest person in the world or I don’t know mental guru then
it’s basically I think this is the best the best thing just look for the real
people so yeah I think that’s all from us so yeah just leave any tips and
advice in the comment boxes below and and we’ll see you soon yeah
another topic so finds join us bye

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