President Trump’s Visits to El Paso and Dayton

President Trump’s Visits to El Paso and Dayton

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-Let’s get to the news. President Trump’s social-media
director Dan Scavino tweeted yesterday about
Trump’s visit to Dayton, Ohio, and said Trump was
“treated like a rock star,” specifically Jackson Maine
when he pissed himself at the Grammys. A local television station
released video today showing President Trump bragging
about the crowd size at his rallies
while talking to medical staff treating victims
of the El Paso shooting. Said one doctor,
“That’s very interesting. Have I shown you
our psych ward?” [ Cheers and applause ] Former Vice President Joe Biden
said, during a speech today, that “half of winning is
showing up.” The other half is Obama. [ Cheers and applause ] After sparking outrage by
claiming, on his show, that the rise of
white supremacy is a hoax, Fox News host Tucker Carlson
announced last night that he will be taking
a vacation. And, man,
is he going to be upset when he finds out
who’s sitting in for him. Presidential hopeful Andrew Yang
has qualified for the next two
Democratic primary debates, while John Delaney
has qualified to save 15% on his car insurance? Lego announced today that it
will offer a new building set based on the sitcom “Friends.” They have Lego versions of
Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler, and Ross. [ Cheers and applause ] Officials in Barcelona
passed a law this week allowing women to swim topless
in city pools. Said women in Barcelona,
“We asked for equal pay.” [ Cheers and applause ] That’s right —
Barcelona passed a law allowing women to swim topless. Said men in Barcelona,
“Niiithe.” [ Laughter ] That’s maybe my favorite joke
of the year. According to a new study,
people switching from normal-sized houses
to tiny houses reduce their energy consumption
by nearly half. Said people living in
tiny houses, “Nice! Ow!” [ Laughter ] Today was National CBD Day,
but I got to say, I couldn’t really tell. According to a new study,
feces from giant clams is necessary to feed
coral reefs. And I think I speak
for everyone when I say, coral reefs, you nasty. We had every option
not to do it. Can’t be mad —
I can’t be mad at them. And…
[ Laughter ] And, finally, two zebras escaped
a ranch in Texas this week and eluded officials for
2 1/2 hours. They were finally found hiding
inside a Foot Locker.

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97 Comments

  1. The democrats paradox….being a champion of the low wage worker and fighting for a living wage….wanting open borders and mass illegal immigration…you can’t have both….

  2. I hate how much people are making fun of John Delaney. He brought great points up to expose problems of the far left policy propositions. He said this idea of free health care and tuition for all is more of a fantasy that is not possible to promise. Running for president and telling everybody you will give them all this free stuff without letting us know about the ramifications of these kinds of policies is wrong and he stood up to that. His more moderate left stance is closer to Obama's than Warren and Sanders who are much farther left than Obama was. Yet praise Obama and hate Delaney and Praise Warren and Sanders. Makes a lot of sense. Also Warren and Sanders are accusing him of being too republican which is bullshit. They are too progressive and I believe someone more moderate is best for the country as a whole and has the best chance of beating Trump.

  3. Dose this pass for humour in America, as for that fake laughter what's all that about, this geezer is about as funny as a dose of clap in a brothel..

  4. Just to clarify … in Spain there is no lisp, it is called "differentiation." When there is "s" we pronounce "s", but when there is "c" followed by the vowel "e" "i" is pronounced as the English "th". In Latin America (as in the Canary Islands) there is a more simplified Castilian and everything is pronounced with the sound “s”.

  5. Hello everyone somewhat unrelated but relative statement. In noticing the attempt by Fox News to control or misguide people's views on The Narrative of racism or white supremacy in the United States. It is also I think a great talking point on television shows that have been placed within the past few years to excite or enhance fever between races classes skin color and differences of ideals religious and otherwise not real American values. I've noticed that is so on TV called Underground what's has two seasons 2016 and 2017 has been ended or canceled due to the sensitive nature of slavery within the United States. Nonetheless a so-called iZombie and many other shows have been continuing and continue to be aired 4 more than 3 4 and 5 years of post-apocalyptic views all fiction. Though these accounts of the show titled Underground is a nonfiction story or depiction of actual events they have taken place in America. The willingness to control the narrative has also affected our ability to see actual occurrences even if somewhat dramatized in plain View. The unwillingness to see sins of the past brought to light and to pretend as if this is unworthy of History or knowledge. Yet a show that dramatizes the death of humans versus zombies can play for more than Four Seasons depicts the dehumanization of the Dead versus the living. Also a clear statement of how to minimize the deaths of minorities within a country. I know it may sound weird or strange but that is the same thing that is happening within this country as of today with destroying families dividing and placing the name of others on a specific culture religion or race and color when crimes of humanity caused by mass shootings or bombings have come in to play. Just my thoughts I could have cut them to myself but I went to Walmart 2 days ago and I didn't feel as safe as I normally would I'm just picking up a few things and going home after working two jobs and already being exhausted helping out a friend. The last thing anyone wants to think about when it getting to the register is if someone is going to walk in what's a semi-automatic full automatic or any kind of weapon and cause harm to the individuals that are before them or them themselves. Something has to change hopefully we will be able to do that together as Americans. God bless and I hope you all safe Journeys wherever you may be.

  6. So, what's with the crowd cut-away? Obvious edit is obvious, and a good chunk of time is missing. That joke bomb or something?

  7. In El Paso, TX. the relatives took the baby, whose parents were just slaughtered, to see the president and First Lady. They said the slain
    parents were Trump Supporters. The living family members (aunt and uncle, I believe) were happy with the President, the First Lady,
    and the holding of what may well become their child now, with nice big smiles – such a happy occasion. This seems to be a case of
    you reap what you sow. If these Trump supporters are happy with the fact that another Trump supporter, inspired and motivated by
    the words,  promulgated by Trump that just murdered  their relatives, then I say – smile all around – because quiet frankly this is
    like the Twilight Zone meets Outer Limits.

  8. El Paso shooter. TRIGGERED because DIMocrats wanted to give ILLEGALS HEALTH CARE. DAYTON shooter. Hated Trump, LOVED ANTIFA, BERNIE AND LIZ WARREN AND SOCIALISM. Time to out law LIBTARDS.

  9. We need to Simply send Trump, his Trumpublicans and Putin to the Fletcher Memorial Home.
    This would be perfect for them.

    Paraphrased From Pink Floyd’s song "The Fletcher Memorial Home"

    (Text in parentheses mine.)

    “Take all your overgrown infants away somewhere
    And build them a home, a little place of their own.
    The Fletcher Memorial
    Home for Incurable Tyrants and Kings.”

    (Now listen to the activities in which they can engage)

    “And They can appear to themselves every day, On closed circuit T.V. To make sure they're still real.
    It's the only connection they feel.”

    (And it will feel similar to their daily briefings from Fox News)

    “Did they expect us to treat them with any respect?
    They can polish their medals and sharpen their Smiles, and amuse themselves playing games for awhile.
    Boom boom, bang bang, lie down you're dead.”
    (Sounds like Trump when he is making his dumb sounds)

    “Safe in the permanent gaze of a cold glass eye
    With their favorite toys”

    (Like Sarin gas, other nerve agents and of course MAGA hats)

    “They'll be good girls and boys
    In the Fletcher Memorial Home for colonial Wasters of life and limb.”

    “Is everyone in?
    Are you having a nice time?
    Now the final solution can be applied.”

    (Let’s Make Trump irrelevant in 2020 and beyond)

  10. tRump – “A most notable coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.” Wm. Shakespeare

  11. I love Closer Look and all his other special bits but I have a hard time getting through these monologues. Meyers often waits a beat too long after the punchline I guess to encourage the audience to laugh more? I don't know why he does it but it makes the funny joke less funny because now I'm listening for audience laughter rather than just enjoying the joke.

  12. 2:05 in case anyone didn't get the joke, many people in Spain make the "z" sound and soft "c" sound with a "th" sound instead of the "s" sound.

  13. I get your best joke of the year. I was told (don't know if it is fact or fiction) it is the result of not wanting to embarrass a king with a speech impediment .

  14. Can anyone deny that flooding every White country in the world (and ONLY White countries) with tens of millions of non-Whites and forcing their assimilation into the White community is an act of genocide?
    Black countries will remain Black, and Asian countries will remain Asian.
    White countries are the ONLY countries to be affected by this.
    But, rather than genocide, the word that anti-Whites use to describe this program is "diversity."
    Diversity means chasing down White flight.
    Anti-racist is a codeword for anti-White.

  15. Wouldn’t it be nice to watch tv and not hear all the political BS? We have enough of it on the news. I remember when it used to be funny. Damn, late night talk shows are lame now. When I want to hear someone’s political views I watch Jericho Green. He don’t sugarcoat anything or anybody.

  16. Baarcelona officials only allowed women for topless swimming because it gives them more to ogle. Equal pay means giving respect. 😉

  17. You are a stupid Democrat ! Dividing the Democratic vote ! We need to unite to beat the orange baboon – Biden is the only qualified candidate to get us out of the reaccession we are going to head to soon

  18. Trump has no conscience or love for American citizens. He only loves money. The two visits were photo opportunities so he can lie about how popular he is.

  19. Turns out the shooter is another left wing , environmental libtard ! So much for them telling you it’s racially motivated when his manifesto clearly says he was mad at globalists and machines taking over ! Not a white nationalist at all ! Democrats are so desperate because they know what is coming with the declassification of fisa and the Epstein investigations will take several top dems in Congress as well as many top respected actors and directors in Hollywood !

  20. tucker carlsons face always looks like a cardboard box witnessing an orgasim. but then again he's probably never given one.

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