Seth’s Favorite Jokes of the Week: Dead Friendship Tree, Chernobyl Tourism

Seth’s Favorite Jokes of the Week: Dead Friendship Tree, Chernobyl Tourism

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♪♪ -Hey, everybody.
That’s Andy. I’m Seth. These are our favorite
jokes of the week. [ Cheers and applause ] President Trump has reached
a deal with Mexico to reduce the number of migrants
at the southern border. “No more than three,”
said Trump when asked how many more migrants he
plans on marrying. Singers Katy Perry and
Taylor Swift announced, on social media last night,
that they have ended their years-long feud
by posting a picture of a plate of cookies with the words “peace at last”
written in icing. Then one of them
ate the last cookie, and the feud started
all over again. According to reports, the
HBO miniseries “Chernobyl,” about the 1980s
Soviet nuclear accident, has led to a rise in tourism to
the abandoned radioactive city. And, so far, all the Yelp
reviews are just actual yelps. Lawmakers in New York
have introduced legislation that would prohibit companies
from charging different prices for similar men’s and women’s products, like shampoo, conditioner,
and body wash. Said men, “Wait.
That’s not all one thing?” According to reports,
a so-called friendship tree planted at The White House by French president
Emmanuel Macron and President Trump
last spring has died, while — It’s a true thing
that happened. [ Laughter ] [ As Trump ] Water?! While the friendship tree
planted by Trump and Putin turned out
to just be a microphone. ♪♪
[ Cheers and applause ]

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25 Comments

  1. Someone suggested water and Trump said, "Water? Like, from out the toilet?!" and he insisted on using Brawn-do instead, "Because it's got electrolytes."

  2. WHEN fascism comes to your door, it will first inquire about your FEELINGS and then quickly adjust its purpose to cater to emotions and ENTIRELY disregard and circumvent the FACTS

  3. Hello.

    Mr. Drumpf cannot even get a tree to grow. You dig a hole put it in dirt and( wa la) DEATH! Thanks donni

    Good luck.

  4. True story: France is sending another Friendship Tree. Why, so the second one can die, too? Everything Trump touches dies.

  5. The last joke is even better if you know about https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Thing_(listening_device)

  6. Donald Trump committed treason and is an economic terrorist. By law he deserves prison and/or a death sentence.

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