Summer Stupidity: LONDON (City Review!)

Summer Stupidity: LONDON (City Review!)

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London is the third most populated city
in Europe overall, but easily the most populous city
in the European Union For now… With almost 8 million inhabitants spread out over
an area the size of Dublin, Madrid, and Berlin combined It’s also among the oldest cities in the EU. Which is funny, because it’s been set on fire so many times that its architecture is among the newest in Europe. Best of both worlds. *Clip from 500 Miles* Londoners get around by either taking one of these super comfortable black cabs, the sprawling London underground subway line, or just by walking. Uh… swimming. The tube was the first underground railway line ever constructed and it still gets Londoners all across town quickly and effectively. The trains themselves are on the small side,
but I find them very cozy. And if it’s good enough for the god of thunder,
it’s good enough for me. Above ground, the city is surprisingly easy to navigate even given the lack of a grid. Victorian London’s pension for commemorating
anything and everything with a monument makes the geography memorable and clear. The city was historically built up along
the northern bank of the Thames and expanded outwards from there
with the introduction of the subway and cars. Probably the first thing you noticed about London
is that it’s filled with parks. Green Park, Hyde Park, Regent’s Park,
and enough smaller green spaces to make London’s public parks alone bigger
than every other city in the EU, and I love every single one of them. Eight out of ten. The layout of the city is pretty cool, but I can’t shake the feeling that it was all built
on the systematic exploitations of colonialism. *Clip from What A Wonderful World* London had a bad habit of burning down all the time, so the current city is largely from the 1700s onward. The upside of that is the entire city was built with
Empire money, so this train station is a castle and that department store is an Egyptian tomb. Don’t ask me how or why, but I dig it. My award for the coolest skyscraper on planet Earth
goes to The Shard because it looks like someone ripped it straight out
of a sci-fi dystopia and I respect that kind of commitment to an
architectural fever dream. I went partway up the tower to get drinks
at one of several high-rise bars and have literally never felt like more of a supervillain
in my entire life. But my favourite building by the sheer “dayum” factor
has to be St. Paul’s Cathedral. This church brings it home with a mondo-neoclassical dome
and an increasingly ornate design philosophy as the royals kept looking up during church and found corners of the altar’s ceiling
that weren’t covered in enough gold yet. Nine out of ten. I wish that every city was this consistently bonkers with its architectural mood swings. *Clip from I Can See Clearly Now* When I went to London in the middle of February, I had the good fortune to catch a straight week of
mid-60s weather and consistent sun. I later found out that I made it right in between
two weeks literally overflowing with thunderstorms. Some Londoners tell me that the rain is
actually an overblown thing, but that sounds like a ruse
to lull me into a false sense of security. One out of ten. I’m worried that if I go back my weather karma will cash out by striking me with lightning. *Clip from Eat It* One pleasant product of London’s history
as an international empire is some seriously enviable cultural diversity. While a traditional British diet
consists mainly of fried fish and alcoholism, I was able to find incredible restaurants
from every cuisine I could ask for. I had fantastic Indian curry, tonkotsu ramen, an authentic pasta, and probably four gallons of Earl Grey tea
over the course of five days. Eight out of ten. The food is so expensive, I ran out of money and literally starved to death
for the second half of my visit, but I’m still gonna say worth it. *Clip from Somebody To Love* While it may seem on the surface that Londoners
are mostly cold and anti-social, I learned very quickly that the way to any Brit’s heart
is through dark comedy or a pint of beer. Ideally both. I got by well enough on my usual American polite, but when my London friend told me to tap into
the existential dread that underpins humanity’s collective anxiety
by cracking snarky and self-deprecating jokes, everyone became my best friend. Seven out of ten. Londoners are great when they open up
and all laugh at the abyss together, but their coziness with primordial fear
makes me worry there’s a Lovecraftian Elder God just chilling somewhere underneath the tube lines, so I’m glad I visited before Brexit
releases Ialdogorth the Devourer upon the UK. *Clip from Gas Gas Gas* Overall I give the City of London a score of: EXCITING. Nothing the city does is half-assed, and I love it. Give it a visit if you like
architecture, parks, and imperialism. Be sure to avoid it if you’re water-soluble.

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100 Comments

  1. I’m surprised on how much construction is going on. The skyline from the river makes it looks like the Great Fire of 1666 was last week

  2. You're not by chance planning to review Berlin anytime soon? I would love to have my home city be reviewed with your amazing humour! Ü

  3. Avoid if you’re water soluble huh?
    Bro I’m from Connecticut. If it rained any more our population would resemble Insmouth Fish People more than human beings. I’m fat, depressed, out of shape, everything hurts, and can swim 4km without passing out.

  4. It's a beautiful place. I got to go about a decade ago. I wonder if the former Republic of Texas embassy is still standing there.
    (A Texan family bought its debt and turned it into an expensive Restaurant.)

  5. Ya want bad weather just visit my home town of Doncaster it has a habit of being invaded by foreign country’s and shitty weather most of the time

  6. Hope you'll pass by Italy if you have the time, we're having basically a climate apocalypse rn but aside from that it's all dandy.

  7. Yall should totally not go to Orlando. you don't need to, and if you do you would regret it, but hey, Disneys close by.

  8. I’m an American whose recently been living just outside London and this pretty much sums up the city perfectly

  9. guys when you run out of city do some stuff about myths relating to each other or about how geography shapes society/different types of society in history.

  10. Might as well name London the other Emerald city, as it’s protected from wicked witches that are water soluble.

  11. Too bad you guys didnt get to go to the Hindu Shri Swaminarayan Madir, oft called the Neasden Temple (NW10 8LD). I think you guys mightve enjoyed it. Maybe especially Blue? 🙂

  12. Firstly No We Don't Have Fish And Chips All The Time And Chiked Tikka Masala Was Invented In Britain Also I Hate Crumpets And Tea

  13. Looking for dumb new ideas, you say? Well, you've come to the right place! I know you guys generally don't do video games, but considering the recent media Summer Stupidity about Gods of Egypt, why not look at the game Smite. What I mean is that you guys should look at the Mythological accuracies/inaccuracies of the represented characters.

  14. omg do Istanbul!!! It’s rlly similar to London bc of its wacky architectural mood swings and imperialism

  15. given the fact that the Brits created Doctor Who, a national treasure mind you. I won't be surprise if they actually did have a (or several) Lovecraftian Elder Gods or Old Ones lurking, feeding and waiting to return and send us back into the stone age…

  16. As a British citizen this makes me laugh so hard. Thanks! And by this point I think we might actually be amphibian. DARK HUMOUR!!!!!!!

  17. HA I live on the Ocean side of Washington , USA and we get way more rain than, that most of our summer and the rest of the year is rain. Oh and we have more than 13 different classes of rain ranging from the lightest of mist in the air, enough to touch it at least, to the heaviest moving wall of water coming from the sky you may ever see.

  18. I was in London when they were faced with their hottest day in history where it got up to 101 degrees (Fahrenheit)…Going to Her Majesty's theater later that evening was even worse since there is no air conditioning inside at all. Despite all this, I loved visiting London and practically live off of fish and chips every day.👍

  19. “Have literally never felt like more of a supervillain in my entire life”
    Well Brits do make the best villains

  20. As a Dutch person, I can honestly say that I've never really had much trouble with the weather in England.
    Tough the phrase "stare in the abyss for long enough and it starts staring back" comes to mind, but replace 'abyss' with 'water', and it stares back in absolute terror of what my people will do to it in the future, considering the long history of systematic abuse we've shared; Water avoids me. 😉

  21. The food in London is fried fish anf ALCOHOLISM?
    I hope some day you visit Munich during the Oktoberfest…
    You get alcoholised by breathing there.🍺🍻

  22. Love how you didn't even mention the buses as possible transit options. Because they aren't. My family had like a 4 hour gap in which we figured we'd pop into the British museum and see whatever fractional amount of it we could manage (It would take like a week to see everything in there). We took the bus, google maps said it should take about half an hour by bus. It took about an hour and a half. Between running late in the first place, the line to get in, and this disaster we only had about an hour and half to look at stuff. 0/10, never take the bus anywhere.

  23. If you thought you felt like a supervillian halfway up the shard image how powerful you would feel at the top AND with a british accent

  24. I've always liked Red's ability to make me laugh in every Miscellaneous Myth I've ever watched and then some, but holy wow Blue, I should have sought your videos out waaaaaay sooner.

  25. Don't forget the poisoned river that flows through the city devoid of life and liable to make you horribly sick if you touch it- and did you call the tube quick and effective??

  26. The point about black comedy is so true haha, no one outside of commonwealth countries get's this, Americans find it offensive. Most people think brits hate each other.

  27. If you’re just counting the administrative Paris it’s 3M but if you count the inhabitants like London does then Paris becomes a 12M city.

  28. Great score system you have there. I hope every America city gets -2 points for being built on stolen native American land, Paris gets -2 points with half it's great architecture being funded from war booty plundered by Napoleon and anything in Japan is given -1 point because it was probably funded from blood soaked loot taken from China.

  29. If you want another wow moment in London visit the prime meridian, the cutty sark and the observatory in Greenwich. The buildings are stunning and the cutty sark is just a giant ass trading ship stuck by the side of the river suspended in glass so you can underneath the bottom of it

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