Weekend Update on Donald Trump’s Syria Missile Strike – SNL

Weekend Update on Donald Trump’s Syria Missile Strike – SNL

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♪♪♪
>>>Announcer: IT’S WEEKEND UPDATE WITH COLIN JOST AND
MICHAEL CHE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>>WHAT’S UP, EVERYONE? WELCOME TO WEEKEND UPDATE.
I’M MICHAEL CHE.>>AND I’M COLIN JOST.
WELL IT TURNS OUT THE ONLY THING SCARIER THAN DONALD TRUMP ACTING
UN-PRESIDENTIAL IS DONALD TRUMP ACTING PRESIDENTIAL.
[ LAUGHTER ] IN RESPONSE TO THE SYRIAN
REGIMES CHEMICAL WEAPONS ATTACK, PRESIDENT TRUMP ON THURSDAY
SPENT 59 TOMAHAWK MISSILES TO DISABLE A SYRIAN AIR FIELD.
BECAUSE WHEN TRUMP IS ANGRY, HE ALWAYS PRESSES SEND.
[ LAUGHTER ] THIS IS ONE OF THOSE MOMENTS
WHERE IT’S SEEMS EXTRA JARRING THAT DONALD TRUMP IS OUR
PRESIDENT. EVEN IF YOU ARE A TRUMP
SUPPORTER, IT’S GOTTA SEEM A LITTLE CRAZY THAT A GUY IS
STARTING A WAR WITH ASSAD WHILE HE’S STILL BOGGED DOWN IN A
TWITTER WAR WITH SCHWARZENEGGER. [ LAUGHTER ]
REMEMBER AFTER TRUMP WAS ELECTED AND EVERYONE KEPT SAYING, “STOP
TAKING TRUMP LITERALLY. HE’S NOT LITERALLY GOING TO BAN
MUSLIMS AND DEPORT MEXICANS AND BOMB THE HELL OUT OF EVERYONE.”
AND ALL IM SAYING IS, IF I WERE HILLARY CLINTON, I’D START
GETTING IN PRISON SHAPE. [ LAUGHTER ]
>>I MAY BE OVERSIMPLIFYING THE DETAILS.
>>THE U.S. HAS ATTACKED ASSAD WHO, LIKE US, IS ALREADY AT WAR
WITH ISIS. BUT ASSAD IS A CLOSE ALLY WITH
RUSSIA WHO TRUMP HAS SAID HE WANTS TO WORK WITH TO DEFEAT
ISIS. EVEN THOUGH THE THREAT TO ISIS
IS ASSAD WHO TRUMP JUST BOMBED. SO, IN CASE YOU ARE HAVING
TROUBLE FOLLOWING ALL THAT, HERE’S A REENACTMENT OF WHAT I
JUST DESCRIBED. ♪♪♪
[ SLAPPING NOISES ] [ LAUGHTER ]
SIMPLE ENOUGH, RIGHT? THE ATTACK COMES AS A SURPRISE
BECAUSE JUST MONDAY, THE PRESIDENT SAID HE WANTED NOTHING
TO DO WITH THE SYRIAN CONFLICT. AND BY THURSDAY HE HAD ALREADY
ATTACKED THEM. HE’S HANDLING CONFLICT THE WAY
MY MOTHER HANDLES FAMILY DRAMA. AT FIRST, SHE’S LIKE, “THIS
AIN’T NONE OF MY BUSINESS. Y’ALL LEAVE ME OUT OF THIS.”
Y’ALL GROWN. THEN THREE DAYS LATER, SHE’S
OUTSIDE MY EX’S JOB IN A TRACK SUIT WITH A BRICK IN ONE HAND
AND HER WIG IN THE OTHER. [ LAUGHTER ]
TRUMP ALSO BROKE PROTOCOL BY NOT WAITING FOR APPROVAL FROM
CONGRESS. HE DIDN’T EVEN WAIT UNTIL HE WAS
HOME. HE WAS STILL ON VACATION IN
MARGARITAVILLE OR WHEREVER HE GOES.
[ LAUGHTER ] AND THEN SENT 60 MISSILES FROM
AMAZON PRIME ON A WHIM. [ LAUGHTER ]
>>PRESIDENT TRUMP MET WITH CHINESE PRESIDENT XI JINPING —
THIS WEEK AT HIS MAR A LAGO ESTATE.
AND THEN WHEN THE TWO MEN STOOD NEXT TO EACH OTHER FOR THE FIRST
TIME, ONE THING BECAME VERY CLEAR.
IF YOU MASH THEM TOGETHER, THEY WOULD LOOK EXACTLY LIKE
STEVEN SEGAL. [ LAUGHTER ]
>>ON FRIDAY THE SENATE VOTED TO CONFIRM SUPREME COURT NOMINEE
NEAL GORSUCH WHICH MADE IT EXTRA AWKWARD FOR MERRICK GARLAND’S
FAMILY WHEN HE PRETENDED TO COME HOME FROM WORK AGAIN.
AFTER A LONG DAY AT THE SUPREME COURT.
[ LAUGHTER ] [ AUDIENCE OOHS ]
>>THIS WEEK, WHITE HOUSE CHIEF STRATEGIST STEVE BANNON WAS
REMOVED FROM THE NATIONAL SECURITY COUNCIL.
AND THIS TIME, HE PROBABLY CAN BLAME THE JEWS.
[ LAUGHTER ] [ AUDIENCE OOHS ]
>>THE WHOUGS REVEALS THAT JARED KUSHNER TRAVELED WITH THE CHIEF
OF STAFF. HE LOOKS LIKE COLIN WHEN HE GOES
BUY WEED.>>IT WAS MY FIRST TIME.
THIS WAS A COMPLETE LACK OF SELF AWARENESS.
THEY ARE THE WORST THING THAT RICH WHITE GUYS CAN BE.
OBLIVIOUS. HE IS ACCUSED OF BEING RACIST E.
HE HAD TO REDUCE OVERSIGHT AND THE WAY TO PICK UP ON THE VIBE
OF THE COUNTRY. FOUR DAYS INTO SEXUAL ASSAULT
AWARENESS MONTH, HE COMES TO DEFEND THE GUY ACCUSED OF SEXUAL
ASSAULT. ON THE VERGE OF WORLD WAR 3,
JARED KUSHNER ROLLS ON HIS BEST OUTFIT.
YOU ARE GOING TO SEE GENERALS, NOT VAMPIRE WEEKEND.
>>BILL O’REILLY AND FOX NEWS PAID OUT $13 MILLION IN PAYMENTS
TO FIVE WOMEN. THE BEST CASE SCENARIO IS YOU
ARE SO BAD WITH WOMEN, IT COSTS YOU $2.5 MILLION EVERY TIME YOU
FLIRT. BUT THE MOST IT COST ME IS A
TWO-STAR RATING ON UBER POOL.

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100 Comments

  1. So he sends 59 missiles, 23 hit on a base that's not used much , you warn the Russians who are in the bed with Asad, you only hit planes in repair,and to top it all off your plan it all from Florida and don't bother telling the other branches what you're doing…Now what? since you Told President Obama to NEVER do the same it would be Stupid and no way out..GOOD Distraction Trump

  2. Colin and Michael are too young and smirk too much. The original cast had to keep straight faces. SNL has gone downhill. Cast looks like high school kids.

  3. @NoDogmaMama Whats funny is on CNN (Cancer News Network) they
    interviewed a Syrian who said they don't want to come to the U.S. They
    want to stay in their country and have safe territories. They even
    THANKED TRUMP. It's funny how many people speak for someone on the
    other side of the world… Get wrecked. For the record, I don't think
    we should starve our poor children. I think we should starve the
    pieces of shit poor who KNOW THEY ARE POOR and continue to pop kids out.
    Hold them free government assist collecting ass holes accountable.
    I'm over it… I don't feel bad for anyone who has 6 kids… collects
    WIC, Foodstamps, and government assisted housing and continues to keep
    having children.

  4. He didn't bomb Syria as if he just randomly bombed civilians. He bombed the air base that sent out the chemical attacks. Assad is a dictator who kills his own people. This is so misleading and people just eat it up

  5. So why did we just bomb Syria? They did nothing to us but still we got involved by bombing them. It's like Trump said, "I don't want to be just a president, I want to be one that's remembered for something HUUUUUUGE. I'm gonna start World War III." Thanks Hitler.

  6. Soooo we let Syria bomb children with chemicals freely? With zero consequences? Glad Trump is in charge and not SNL's writers.

  7. Well, it's official. Trump is going to be added onto the list of presidents who were assassinated. When, where, who, that's unknown, why, I don't have to say why, how, probably  just like other presidents who were assassinated, gun shot. As a matter of fact, I'm trying to find out why a bullet isn't up his ass yet.

  8. So…sacks Bannon (ok so he's a prick – I think Trump was fed up with people saying "President Bannon").
    Almost a whole week goes past before Trump bombs someone.

  9. Idk lets forget about the fact that syria is using bio weapons on there own civilians. You guys are so fucking dumb. What did hilter do again? Oh yea killed there civilians for no reasons. Dam why did my grandpas brother die in Germany when we clearly think its ok to Gas and kill children and women. Whether you are democratic or Republican there is one truth that Fake News does exist and this is it at its finest. Trump bombed a mini Hilter and is called out of control. This is a disgrace to America and everybody who died in World War 2. But dont worry, if we keep done with path all you who watch this and like will realize what your arrogance will cost you. I really hope someone who is dumb enough to say trump was out of control will respond with there thoughts. Because im interested in how someone could possibly argue against bombing gas storage stops in Syria killing no civilians after there tyranny gassed helpless children. Next you will be arguing about how we tried to kill hilter.

  10. Remember when leftists weren't winning brats and could go a day without blaming people for there problems and criticizing anyone that has a different opinion than them

  11. Hey Michael Che, just a note but it appears to be more self deprecating jokes at your expense than your co hosts

  12. If Hillary had done the same thing the Liberal media would be calling it "courageous". Oh, and Trump didn't break "protocol" by taking this action. He is given the authority by THE CONSTITUTION to wage battle for 90 days without the approval of congress. READ THE CONSTITUTION!!!!!

  13. Why don't they say "alleged" chemical weapons attack. As yet we still have zero confirmation Assad dropped chemical weapons

  14. When you repeat the narrative "Assad's chemical attack", be sure, your nose is up al qaeda's ass whose nose is up trump's ass whose nose is up goldman's ass whose nose is up king salman's ass whose nose is up raytheon's ass whose hand is up your ass whose nose is up al qaeda's ass…. Abu Ivanka al Amrika!

  15. that's the least presidential thing he could have done…now you know who the real turn coats are, the ones supporting Trumps decision making by bombing 😝😝😝

  16. Each tomahawk cost 2 million so times that by 57 …..114 million dollars bye bye he could of put that towards his wall

  17. Someone correct me if I'm wrong but can't the president legal wage for 90 days without consulting those he governs? With Honors sort of jumped out at me there.

  18. So, it looks like Jared and Donald are really close. But how's their relationship going to survive when Jared finds out that Ivanka's kids are actually Donald's?

  19. The great thing about HUSH money is the ones silenced can squeal like pigs when it is more convenient or paid more to squeal.

  20. Wow that's so cool! I love it how you can just totally look past all that 'murder' stuff of all those '10s to 100s of thousands of people'. More people should be just like this, I mean seriously? It's not like we occasionally get even more worked up about… oh I don't know… a school shooting with only 3 deaths. I mean wow, I just love the way you people can just put on those cool sunglasses that block out everything except for what's in front of you and just sit down and let the news tell you what to really be angry about, like GMOs poisoning our wells, the little fuckers.

  21. SNL needs their own political party. They find whatever reason they can to hate Trump just so more people watch them. Even if it is something that the Democrats are extremely supportive of, they hate it because Trump did it. At this point it is just pathetic

  22. SNL ,not funny! Some issues aren't fodder for humor. SNL has finally hit the bottom. Your writers are cynics.

  23. Wait, the left has issues with missile strikes that aren't cleared through congress?

    Because wow have I got some bad news about your boy Obama…

  24. Did Che just defend Assad as our should-be ally against ISIS? Wtf is wrong with you idiots? Did you forget how Assad is responsible for massacring untold numbers of his own populace?

  25. The only reason Trump was elected is Hillary Clinton. She managed to look even CRAZIER than him. He promised not to start war but did it anyway. She openly wanted the war.

  26. I've always heard of the triggered Republicans in SNL comments, but until today I'd never actually seen one. What should I do? Is it safe to approach them?

  27. I am no Trump supporter, not even American, but they left out the fact that;

    1. Bashar al-assad and russia are focusing more on defeating the rebels, and not ISIS
    2. Trump bombed the syrians because they had used chemical warfare.

  28. This is why Trump needs a twitter, so he can retaliate to the press while eating his breakfast burrito instead of putting time aside trying to set up meetings with news outlets. The send joke was clownin though lol

  29. Everything you people make is shit, has been shit for over a decade, and when you die, you will be remembered for being uneducated, unfunny, intolerable shit.

    I know you're just there for the paycheck, but end it sooner rather than later please. Nobody will miss this garbage.

  30. " in response to the Syrian regimes chemical attack"   bulls$t narrative since it is not likely to be the case      http://www.moonofalabama.org/2017/04/the-reason-behind-north-koreas-nuclear-program-and-its-offer-to-end-it.html#more   
    Someone should make a parody of you lying nutters     
    https://www.henrymakow.com/2017/04/tv-as-mass-deception.html

  31. There is NO serious evidence that Assad's government was behind the chemical attack. SNL cannot say "in response to the Syrian chemical weapons attack." That is biased.

    I guess it's only what you can expect when you are watching a comedic political commentary run by one of the largest media conglomerates in the world with shared political and economic interests in the middle east with big oil, big military, etc.

  32. why is this shit head wearing that vest,those guys are shooting for the head,which is where they should shoot them

  33. There's nothing funny about the conflict in Syria…it was a horrible event where innocent lives were killed and injured. SNL could have left this out in there jokes and attack against our President.

  34. I like how Kushner is the only person in that picture with a plate carrier on. All the soldiers are in their cammies without rifles or bodyarmor.

  35. Hey at least the U.K. Has to deal with Theresa May as their prime minister. So we at least have some people in another country suffering as we do

  36. Actually the president has the right to perform military actions and has to notify congress within 48 hours and it is only after 60 days that he must have permission from congress to maintain troops in other countries or continue military actions

  37. The crazy thing about Neil Gorsech (or however the hell you spell it). I was talking to a bunch of Republicans and they had no idea that the Republicans blocked him. I mean good god. They literally said Obama if you nominate him we will confirm him. Then he did. And they said blah blah lame duck when he had like 10 months left. For real. Lame duck is after the election. Then now McConnell literally said he would go against what he said..how hypocritical can you be?

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