Weekend Update: Pete Davidson on Being Sober – SNL

Weekend Update: Pete Davidson on Being Sober – SNL

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>>THE HEALTH CARE PROPOSAL
COULD END ACCESS TO DRUG TREATMENT AND REHAB.
HERE IS PETE DAVIDSON.>>WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO
SINCE YOU GOT SOBER.>>THEY SAY QUITTING DRUGS IS
HARD AND THAT’S TRUE, BUT THEY DON’T TELL YOU HOW BORING IT IS.
HOWEVER SAID THERE WAS NOT ENOUGH HOURS IN THE DAY IS A
LIAR. THERE ARE SO MANY HOURS IN THE
DAY, 24 TO BE EXACT. DID YOU KNOW THAT?
24-HOURS IN A DAY. I THOUGHT THERE WERE ONLY SIX.
>>WOW. THAT’S GOOD TO KNOW.
I FELL LIKE THERE MUST HAVE BEEN SOMETHING YOU DID WITH YOUR TIME
OFF.>>I HAVE BEEN MASTURBATING.
>>GREAT.>>I’M DOING THAT A LOT.
I WAS ON DRUGS FOR THE LAST EIGHT YEARS AND I HAVE TO GET
ALL THE BAD KIDS OUT.>>WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
>>I HAVE TO MASTURBATE ALL THE BAD KIDS OUT.
THERE IS A BUNCH OF DUMMY THIS IS THERE.
IF I HAD A KID HE WOULD HAVE A SNAP BACK AND A NECK TATTOO.
>>I’M GOING TO MOVE ON FROM THAT.
HOW DID YOU BECOME SOBER?>>I WENT TO REHAB AND NEVER
PICK THE REHAB YOU WANT TO GO TO WHILE YOU ARE HIGH.
THAT’S WHAT I DID. I GOOGLED REHAB AND PICKED THE
FIRST PLACE. WHAT CAUGHT MY EYE IS THEIR MAIN
ATTRACTION WAS HORSE THERAPY.>>WHAT’S HORSE THERAPY?
>>WOULDN’T WE ALL LIKE TO KNOW. I’M NOT 100% SURE, BUT WHEN YOU
PET HORSES AND LOOK AT THEM AND LIKE HEAL THROUGH THEIR
HORSEYNESS. YOU PET THEM AND YOU LOOK THEM
IN THE EYE AND YOU ARE TRAPPED, I’M TRAPPED.
WE GET THROUGH THIS.>>THAT ACTUALLY SOUNDS NICE.
>>FOR DOES, BUT THE FIRST DAY I GOT TO REHAB, GUESS WHO IS
ALLERGIC TO HORSES. THAT’S HOW POOR I WAS GROWING
UP. I NEVER MET A HORSE.
I REMEMBER DOING THE ALLERGY TEST WHEN THEY TEST YOU FOR
DOGS, CATS AND GRASS. THE DOCTOR ASKED MY MOM SHOULD
HE BE TESTED FOR HORSES SHE LITERALLY SAID NO, HE WILL NEVER
SEE ONE. HE SAID WE ARE MORE OF A SIX
FLAGS TYPE FAMILY.>>I’M SORRY.
THAT SOUNDS LIKE A NIGHTMARE SCENARIO.
>>IT WAS. DO NOT GO TO REHAB THAT HAS
HORSE THERAPY. IT WILL COST YOU $40,000.
>>IT COST YOU 4 $40,000.>>YOU CAN HAVE SEX WITH A
PERSON FOR LIKE $50. I SHOULD HAVE BANGED THAT HORSE.

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100 Comments

  1. "Heal through their horseyness." I don't know how or when… but I am going to find a way to shoehorn that statement into a conversation sometime between now and the day I die.

  2. OMG I Love the "get the bad kids out"!
    Pete I hope you stay clear and clean. It really does Help.
    You make a positive difference in the world!

  3. Ib don't get what's so good or even funny about Pete Davidson. I think he's talentless and unfunny.

  4. horse therapy is looking after a noble and intelligent animal to give yourself something to care and be responsible for, and eventually love, to give your hollow life meaning.

  5. Is it just me or does Pete's eyes really look different here. I mean the left one is looking smaller than the right one. The right one is more popped out I guess.

  6. You can't just send rehab patients off to play with horses and call that treatment. BoJack Horseman is not an adequate addiction therapist.

  7. Pete my rehab was $60,000 but it was on the beach no horses just beautiful bitches I mean beaches. 😂

  8. Sorry Pete, not funny at all. Never seen you in anything even remotely funny. Time to leave SNL. Worst casting choice in a while. Sounded so scripted. All in the delivery and you haven’t got what it takes

  9. He’ll go back to the white powers before too long. He’s a total drug addict……..addicted forever.

  10. This is one of the funniest videos I’ve ever seen. I mean I’m sober right now, “what, huh? Oh, no I smoke like every day. I’m just out right now” And sober sucks

  11. This guy has no place on SNL. He’s a fucking horrible actor, in every skit he pushes and pushes to be funny, but he just ends up looking awkward and certainly not funny. How the fuck this guy got the job is beyond me. His dad dying on 911 didn’t hurt his chances any

  12. "Theres a bunch of dummies down there. If I had a kid right now he'd come out with a snap back and a neck tattoo." Pretty sure that was a diss at Mac Miller before he had passed away.

  13. Funny thing is he’s actually right. Studies show that time since parents have had alcohol is related to developmental disability. No effect after 6 months of abstinence in men, 1 year in women. Not exact dates but that’s about it

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